Do the thoughts frightened, alone, unsafe, unloved, guilty, anxious, vulnerable come to mind?
When I birthed Harrison, Chris was not there. He was not at the hospital. The midwives sent him home because they believed ‘nothing was going to happen that night’. I had pre-eclampsia, so I was induced early. Nobody expected a precipitate labour. Harrison was born in the hospital corridor, on the cold, dirty floor.
When my friends and family heard what had happened, they were horrified. The look on their faces said it all. Even other midwives could not believe what happened, because things like this are not meant to happen in a place where we are meant to feel safe.
I kept hearing comments such as, “if your partner were still there with you, you would not have had to leave your bed to look for a midwife because your bed buzzer was not working” or “how terrible, you must have felt so alone, you must be feeling traumatised.”
My view on what happened now is the complete opposite to what others thought. My perception is different. By knowing and believing that my body was capable of birthing Harrison, unassisted, it was ok that my partner Chris, or a midwife was not there to hold my hand and tell me how well I was doing. I was in ‘my safe place’, the whole time. I felt calm, comfortable and in control. Harrison and I were together. I had the strength and love to protect him. I totally trusted my body.
How did I know this?
Because using my tools and techniques through Hypnobirthing made me prepared and ready for anything.
When Chris left the hospital, I listened to my hypnosis tracks and focused on my breathing.
Before the birth I used hypnosis to discover where this special, calm, and safe place was, and I had practiced how to get there quickly and easily. I was not alone because my mind was in my safe place. It felt so real. I wasn’t thinking that I was left on the dark, lonely ward. I was surrounded with Oxytocin and my positive birth affirmation cards which reminded me of what I was capable of.
Ask yourself, how would you feel if your partner was not there?